Learn To Be Sexy
by Rebbie
Summary: Ron's tired of his non-existant sexuality and Draco wants a challenge. What happens? Will contain homosexual situations and such! Not any certain couple yet. We'll see what happens.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter. Please don't get me in trouble. :(

**Summary:** Ron's tired of his non-existant sexuality and Draco wants a challenge. What happens? Slash!

**Warnings:** So far, slash and one-sided, at least that we know of, RW/HP.

**Ch.1 Cold Weather and Secret Musings**

A cold chill swept over Hogwarts, leaving the grounds frozen and the stone floors and walls cold. Even the fires didn't seem to warm the halls and rooms too much, and the professors refused to use magic to warm things up. They had also forbidden students to do so. Some people whispered of the professors warming their own rooms. Some older students resolved to heat things up with sexual acts. However, some were not fortunate enough to have a significant other or have the ability to seduce other sources of pleasure. Ron Weasley and Harry Potter were two of the unfortunates, as Draco Malfoy would call it. Harry could probably lure someone to his bed by using his name, but this thought did not cross his mind. Why would it?

Ron sighed. Then, he sighed again, watching his breath slowly fade away. "Damn, it's so bloody cold, I'm afraid my breath is about to freeze."

Harry snorted, only half amused. His mind was wondering into forbidden thoughts. Ron's thoughts were worse though. They had been for the past year. Ever since he'd arrived at school this year. Sure, he'd thought about sexuality before, but he had never believed it was possible for him to feel that way about guys, especially a certain one. Ron thought about fourth year. He could still remember the way his stomach knotted up when he woke up in those arms. He had thought then it was the sight of Fluer running towards him and Harry, and maybe it had been then, but now he would have died to be in his friend's arms again.

Then Harry sighed, but unlike Ron, he didn't survey his breath, he didn't even notice anymore. It had been showing up way too much of late. He was in thorough contempt of every male in the school who was getting with someone that night.

"It's not fair," Harry grumbled to Ron, "everybody else has someone to go and snog with, but I'm sixteen and I've only ever been kissed. I'll bet even Crabbe and Goyle have someone, even if they could only get each other or maybe Millicent Bullstrode. I heard she has strange tastes."

Ron thought about pointing out to Harry that he also had no one to snog with, and that he was sixteen himself and he hadn't even been kissed. Harry could be very angsty some times, but it only made Ron want him more. Ron wished he could be like the guys in the stories that kiss all of the damsel's tears away. Of course, Harry wasn't a a girl and he certainly wasn't a damsel, he was the hero. Plus, he didn't really cry all that much. Ron shrugged. Oh well.

"Don't worry mate, we've always got each other," Ron said casually. Then upon realising what he had said, and how the words could be taken, he blushed scarlet. Or, his ears did anyway. "I mean, you know."

Harry smiled slightly. "I guess you're right. Well, I think I'll get some sleep. That is unless you'd like to play a game of chess?"

Ron grinned. "You wouldn't stand a chance."

Harry nodded. "I can try, can't I? Some day I will beat you though."

"Yeah right. Whatever. Hey, I'll race you inside," Ron said putting his broom up. They were inside already, in a manner of speaking, but Ron was refering to the inside of the castle. So what if he's not totally gramatically correct.

Harry smiled and nodded, putting his broom up as well. "On the count of three. One, two, three."

They both set off at top speed for the door. Icy cold wind hit them when Harry pulled the door open. He was first out, and he ran with all his might. He knew he would have to, running against Ron and his long legs. Ron frowned and flew out the door behind Harry. Soon, they were side by side, racing up the dewy grass to the huge doors of Hogwarts. Ron could have beat Harry, both of them knew that. Harry was slightly smaller than average, and he wasn't nearly as good on his feet as he was on his broom. Ron, on the other hand, was way taller than normal and his height mainly came from his legs, unlike his brother Percy, who was long all over. ::cough::

Ron didn't want to leave his spot beside Harry. He liked running beside him. Ron had always wanted to beat Harry, and even if he could beat him at a few things like chess and races, Harry was better at most things, not to mention famous. Not too long ago Ron had given up his childish fancies. He knew he'd never be better than Harry. Now, he just wished he could be as good as. Maybe he could pretend that they were equals. Ron didn't even think Harry thought of Ron as an equal, he knew no one else did.

Suddenly a thought occured to Ron. He could still beat Harry in something else. Both Harry and Ron were still virgins. He could go out and find some poor desperate loser to "hem" have sex with, but he knew he wouldn't. Hell, he didn't even know if he could. Ron knew he wasn't in the least bit sexy, not one bit. He was considered by the more sexually aware teens at school, a child. Those such as Draco Malfoy didn't believe he'd ever be more. Sure, Draco thought Ron would have sex, after he married, but he would never be sexy; nor would he ever fully explore the wonders a sexual experience could bring. People such as this experienced boy were in fact disgusted with people like Weasley.

Eventually, Ron and Harry reached the doors. Ron, this time, was the one to open them. They enterred and shook off snow that had fallen on them. Then, they both laughed. When the laughter died down Ron glanced at Harry, waiting for him to say something, or to start for the Gryffindor Common Room. Harry always took the lead, they were both used to that.

"Damn it's cold out there," Harry said rubbing his hands together. Ron watched this with a strong urg to reach out and take those hands to him and somehow warm them.. Harry didn't notice Ron's stare, as he was busy trying to warm himself up a bit.

"Yeah," Ron said with a small smile, "so how about that game of chess?"

Harry smiled. "Okay." They both set of for Gryffindor tower. Sure, it was late, but everyone else was up and out. Why couldn't Harry and Ron do something late at night as well, even if it wasn't exactly what either of them wanted.

Draco Malfoy was a master at his art. He had taken on a job for his after class hours. After all, he hadn't anything better to do, and he needed the extra money for a certain something he'd been meaning to buy. His father had refused to raise his allowance, on account of Draco's bad behavior. What bad behavior?

Draco was secretly a teacher for the helpless virgins who wanted to get with their crush. Of course they were all simpering girls or poufy boys that like incredibly straight guys. Pathetic. Sure, Draco had only two customers so far, but both of them had walked away with what they wanted. So, if Draco could manage changing a straight guys mind he knew he could do anything, help anyone. Well, that had one exception.

Draco looked up from his breakfast at the Gryffindor table. Potter was listening half heartedly to Granger, who was probably talking about some kind of book or some class. Ugh! Weasley was once again straring dreamily at Potter. Very disturbing, very disgusting, and very very pathetic. The vision was so gross, Draco lost his appetite.

Potter would have been an exception to Draco's "I can make anything sexy" motto, but his name made up for that. Weasley, on the other hand was the definition of non-sexuality. Draco wondered if he had ever even masturbated, and if he had, had he even enjoyed it? Then Draco came up with the very amusing, at least to him, idea that Weasley might not have anything to be sexual with. He'd laughed out loud at that thought one night. The blonde Slytherin knew if he could make Weasley sexy then his motto would be correct. He would be able to make anything sexy. Hell, if he could pull something that outrageous off, he thought he'd be able to do anything.

When Draco thought of these things was when he decided to take on a challenge. Weasley so obviously wanted Potter. So, Draco would make him an offer he couldn't refuse. He wouldn't even charge the red haired Gryffindor. Not that the boy had any money to offer. Draco knew the task would be hard, but with a little dedication and hard work he knew he could pull anything off, even this. He smirked and ate the remainder of the food on his plate, his appetite had returned.

**Author's Note:**

This is the first chapter in what could be a hilarious story. I wrote this a while back and today read over it. I laughed out loud. I'm not being cocky, but I think this story could be good. I need feedback though. If no one agrees with me, I might change my opinion. After all, this is probably the best place to get feedback at. Also, any volunteer betas would be appreciated. Anyway, where do ya'll think I should go with this? What should happen? Give me ideas. That means R&R! You may contact me at Rebbie(underscore)Malfoy at yahoo or Theseconddragon0 at aol. Thanks a bunches.

-Rebbie


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